When I was a kid, nothing was easy for our family and our life was, in my opinion, qualified for a Maalaala Mo Kaya episode. Yup, madrama! But despite the fact that I was not living the life of a princess, I did not think that I was missing a lot in life back then. For one, we had our own house which I thought was one of the biggest in our neighborhood but when we went back there (we had it rented when I was already in high school) to visit, it miraculously shrank in size! LOL
Anyways, what I’m trying to say is that I never felt like I had an awful childhood experience even though we did not have the grandest lifestyle. When our neighbor purchased a new appliance, it wasn’t a big deal that we didn’t. When my classmate had a new ultrasupermega-cool pencil case and a stroller bag, I compliment her and then that was it. I never felt like it was necessary for me to have whatever the other kids had that time. If I tell my mom that I wanted her to buy me a new toy (for the record, I did not like dolls but toy cars / basketball and other boy stuff), she would tell me straight up that we could not afford it and that I wouldn’t have had to ask if only we could. Mom also taught me that some things are not necessary and that having them would only mean a waste of money. I was quick to accept. Did not ask too many questions or fuss about the whole idea. It was safe to say that I did not have insecurities, or if I did, I only brushed it off.
This is why I pity those people who would frequently lament about their lives — that they had a bad life, bad childhood memories, bad fate. I was like, you have no idea what I went through.
My firsthand experience with girls and insecurities was when I was in first year high school. We have this girl classmate, let’s call her Beauty, who in my opinion is the prettiest girl I’ve ever seen in my life! She’s a Fil-Spanish therefore she had beautiful dreamy eyes, lashes that could cast a spell on you, fair complexion and tall slender body build. In short — pang Miss Universe! Plus factor is that she is really kindhearted, spoke in a very ladylike manner, very prim and proper, not to mention intelligent. Beautiful inside and out. On the other hand, there’s one group of girls in our class who really doesn’t like her. Like, ever! They would talk behind her back and when she approaches them, one girl in the group would say “Naa na ang tiguwang!” (The old lady is approaching), and then they will transform into their fake aura towards her as to not get caught that they are talking bad about her. I really don’t understand why they hate her so much even if she did not do anything to offend them or anything like that. And then I saw the bigger picture. They were full of envy when they look at Beauty. They did not like the fact that she would turn boys’ heads the moment she walked into the classroom. They did not like how our teachers would compliment on Beauty’s class recitation or project. They did not like the fact that Beauty came from a well-off family. Whew! My list could go a long way and I don’t want you to get exhausted just like me. That was the time I realized that insecurities do exist.
In my humble opinion, it is fine to have your insecurities for as long as it does not transform you into a backbiting monster running around with your mouth spreading bad publicity about other people. If you have insecurities, you either accept them and work on them so you could overcome those little devils inside your head, or forever possess one of the 7 deadly sins — ENVY. And oh, you don’t have the license to blame having an awful life for your attitude because you have no idea what kind of hell other people are dealing with. Sometimes you can’t see traces of struggle or bitterness in their faces and in fact, they could be the nicest people you meet on the road offering you an umbrella to save you from one of your rainy days.